One Year Later

For those of you who followed our journey last year, I wanted to update you to let you know where we are one year later from when our adoption fell through.

One thing I have learned this long twelve months is that God will never leave you or forsake you. It’s scriptural so of course it’s true, but that is definitely something I took for granite. You see, the first few days after getting the news that we were not going to be able to adopt A were really rough. It was hard to even get out of bed. I did a lot of sitting in my oversized chair, staring out the window, holding my Bible and not even knowing what to pray to God but being fully aware that He was there. Life slowly moved on. It became easier to do the things that needed to be done, but my heart was still in shambles. I also learned that the more I did, the less of the pain I felt, so I busied myself with work. In fact, it wasn’t until Christmas when I realized I had a heart that was broken in a million pieces that I had become numb to. It was almost like a piece of glass that gets broken and instead of getting out the broom and dust pan and actually sweeping up the pieces, you just start walking around it. After a while, you sort of forget about the mess, but that doesn’t mean the mess has been cleaned up. Christmas was hard because we had expected to have A with us. Instead, we were surrounded at a family Christmas which had become all about the grandkids and we were the only family with none to contribute to the celebration. It was hard mostly because our expectations had been unmet, and in our busyness of life, we hadn’t bothered to clean up the shared glass. I remember crying myself to sleep that night, but feeling wrapped in God’s arms. I can’t explain it or pretend to give a theological discourse on what was happening. All I know, was that God’s presence was there with me.

The new year started and I was bound and determined to move on with life. Jeff was in the final stages of a job interview that would change our lives drastically. I was ready to be strong and not feel like I had a huge band-aid on me with blood oozing out. I think I was slowly getting there, not because of my shear will as much as I think God was really starting to heal my heart.

Then February hit and we got a call. I hate the telephone sometimes. I mean it’s a really great technological advance, but I hate how it always rings the same whether to bring you great news or earth shattering news. My sister was being rushed to the hospital and they were not sure if she was going to make it. The longest three hours of my life. I can honestly say that in the midst of holding back tears, I felt this overwhelming sense of God’s presence. I never for a moment thought things were going to be ok. I simply felt the presence of the One who holds the universe. We got to the hospital and even though my sister had been in the hospital many times before, this time was very different. I think I knew. I think we all knew. But you just don’t want to be right about something like that. We spent a few days but then had to go back home due to work and job interview stuff. Yeah, Jeff was literally in the last stages of his interview process. That’s how the Hunts roll! Then Jeff got the call from my dad. Chelley’s scoliosis was pushing on her heart and there was no way to fix it. My parents were taking her off of life support. That was the one thing I prayed they would not have to do. No one should ever have to make that decision but definitely not parents. So again, we made it the three hours down I-35. This time it was peaceful. We got to the hospital and waited while they got Chelley on morphine. And then my parents, Jeff and I sat and held hands and prayed while they took her off of life support. I remember thinking back to all my prayers for so long that God would heal her. He had finally answered my prayers. I knew that Chelley was talking and carrying on up with the same God who was surrounding me.

Life moved on. Jeff got a new job as a youth pastor in Plano. Our lives became much busier. Here we are today. I can definitely tell you that the guy I married, who promised to love me through thick and thin, has been doing just that. He has walked through the past twelve months with me even while he deals with his own pain of both A and being reminded of what it was like to lose his brother eleven years ago. And words can’t even begin to express what an amazing guy he has been. I can tell you that are marriage has grown in a way that I never thought possible. It’s almost like going from a piece of chocolate cake made out of a box with cheap ingredients that tastes great to a piece of chocolate cake made from the finest chocolates with a mouse filling and buttercream icing. Both pieces are great but you don’t realize how great chocolate cake can really taste until you have the good stuff.

But, as great as Jeff has been, God has been holding my heart and helping me SLOWLY sweep up the pieces of my heart. In the past 365 days, He has not left me once. Sort of sounds cheesy but sometimes the greatest biblical truths can be a little cheesy until you realize the full impact of them.

Sorry this has been so long. It’s hard to condense a year into a blog post. Especially, this past twelve months! But I guess my biggest prayer for you (whoever still accidentally stumbles upon this blog) would be for you to really know that God will never leave you or forsake you. Thanks for joining us on this journey. We have felt your prayers and appreciated your encouragement.

By the way, I deleted the old posts because that special little girl has been adopted by a family and we are so thankful for that. I didn’t want her to one day stumble across this.